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This apology goes out to all.
I'm sorry for the way I've been so seemingly distant as of late.
Incoherent.
I go through these phases where I assure myself that everyone hates me.
The world is out to get me.
Generally it comes down to one thing, and that is that all of this is fabricated in my own mind. And it's a problem I've never been able to erase.
Seemingly it goes like so.
1. I find a place or a group of friends where I seem to fit in.
2. I find it way too odd that things are going so well.
3. I start to look at every fine detail of my relationships with a critical mind.
4. Things begin falling apart.
5. Out of pure laziness and lack of motivation I do not take the time to fix these imperfections in my relationships.
6. Everything begins crumbling down.
7. I never talk to these people again, nor do they talk to me.
8. When I see them there is that awkward silence, and always tension.
I'd say it's a sad way of life. And I hate living it.
But I have trust issues that I can't seem to get over.
And quite simply, I have not found a way to ignore my imagination.
If you hate me, it's done.
If you don't, you will.
I'll continue to walk alone in this life.
(And I'm sorry I do this to people, I never realize it until I've pushed everyone away. And at that point, I feel there is no forgiveness.) | 
